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The Search for Degenerate Utopia

by Lewis the Light

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1.
He looked the gift horse right in the mouth You can never see the sun come up if you look west toward the ocean We were sold damaged goods and you know it you were sold damaged goods and you know it He waits at the bus stop for OC transit that bus is coming one of these days Plastic bags litter the roadside of his mind A cigarette butt falls from his lips the wind blows through the telephone wires and through the grass on the side of the road You can make your last stand right here Oh this place is as good as any This degenerate utopia it leaks into your mind This degenerate utopia is what you wanted All the houses look out on little side streets and you are lost in a cul-de-sac now you are lost on a golf course at an amusement park at a shopping center in a shopping center parking lot That is where you thought you saw the light Oh this place is as good as any to make your stand and here comes the light again on this degenerate utopia you were sold damaged goods and you know it you were sold damaged goods and you know it When the sun sets you will miss it if you look east back toward the desert where dreams are made in this evening where dreams are made right here in this degenerate utopia You haven't been to the beach in like three years felt the sand on your feet felt the water and the waves Oh this is the place for you to make your last stand oh this is the place this degenerate utopia you were sold damaged goods and you know it you were sold damaged goods and you know it
2.
Oh this is the California Dream, man This is the light on the mountain this is the water on the shore this is the air in your headspace oh how could you want anything more how could you want anything more how could you want anything more I went up to the mountain and I saw that light I saw the ocean so blue from way off at this height from way off at this height Oh we went off to Irvine to get some food the car broke down on the 405 that was the end of that we walked all the way back to Costa Mesa that was the end of that Here starts another day living the California Dream Here starts another day under the highway I can see it coming and so can you you take your hands out of your pockets show me something new Feel the wind feel the sun and the air Don't stare Don't stare You are feeling turned around everything looks the same You are feeling all turned around everything looks the same You are feeling all turned around You are feeling all turned around and everything looks the same Today is the same as yesterday tomorrow will be the very same you are feeling turned around everything looks the same everything looks the same everything You are feeling turned around you are feeling turned around you are feeling turned around everything everything looks the same Oh where is the water now Pour me out toward the ocean you are feeling all turned around everything is the same everything is the same everything is the same everything is the same Oh it is the California dream out here on this hill it is the California dream all the way down by the coast You see it coming and I see it too You see it coming and I see it too
3.
He was kicked out of the marines in 1974 for getting into a fistfight with General Westmoreland He was drinking buddies with John Barrymore. Back when he was drinking heavily they met at a Sunset Boulevard bar. Barrymore took a liking to him because he would always help him up off the floor. After the bars closed he would drive Barrymore’s Porsche up to his house in the hills. He had a long glass bar and they would drink until morning. Barrymore died of alcohol poisoning. In fact he called the cops the night Barrymore died. He stayed in his house for almost a year almost a year after that. He had stage three prostate cancer. His family wrote letters to the governor. He was in a bed in a VA hospital waiting to die, but he state paid for treatment. They opened him up took out his prostrate and lasered out the cancer. Oh we are here in the land of fake eyelashes in the land of security gates and fences in the land of highway overpasses Oh we are here in the land of blue swimming pools in the land of kids eat free in the land of perpetual hotel construction in the land of endless parking garages in the land of restaurant chains and strip malls in the land of three hour drive to anywhere in the land of blonde hair and too much makeup in the land of airports named after movie stars in the land of degenerate utopia Oh and we got off the bus and we are here Did you know when he died Ronald Reagan had over 30 lbs of undigested red meat backed up in his prostate and lower intestine. Red meat will kill you This bus is going to Long Beach, right? To the VA hospital at the end of the line And we got off the bus We are here we are here yeah we are here...
4.
City is Gone 03:12
Oh reach out your hands away from the city Reach out your hands toward the sky Time slows down and you don't know what you are missing and now time goes by and twenty years is gone You see the fog roll in from the beach toward the mountains just like it did twenty years ago Oh reach out your hands away from the city reach out your hands reach out your hands toward the sky Time it slows down again just for a moment and then it speeds up and ten more years pass by Reach out your hands up north toward San Francisco Reach up your hands to the stars Time slows down for another moment but it speeds up again and the moment is gone Reach out your hands toward the city and the city is gone
5.
The distance here is extreme between parking lots and shopping malls and sidewalks I am back at Will's everyone hugs everyone once again it was too cold to wear your smashing orange dress For example for example So many things so many things We were out under the awning watching the cars drive by I recently learned how to recognize those flowers I went out to Newport Center I went out to Corona Del Mar to see the waves but I saw the birds come in with the wind
6.
I have stumbled into the wasteland it's right here I am standing above an empty swimming pool with the lights flickering in the distance the one behind your old house in your old neighborhood and everything looks the same like you said it would The house across the street had an old green couch in the front yard Oh and I see you here tweaking out on the margins Oh I, I see you here tweaking out on the margins It goes on I put some ice in a bottle of cheap red wine and walk across the railroad tracks to where I am staying now Oh you, you see me just getting by on the margins Oh you, you see me just getting by on the margins Oh yeah you see me just getting by on the margins on the margins at least for now at least for now And then it starts to rain it never rains he hands me a t-shirt says it is from Japan I put it over our heads and we stay that way for an hour we stay that way for two hours Here it goes again you and me we get by on the margins you and me we get by on the margins on the margins for now
7.
You are not interested in old diseases you are interested in the new ones In my time of choosing I choose you There is always a trick and this one is it yeah this one is it You are trying to find yourself you are trying to spacial-ize with your geography He was absent that day and that didn't bother you you caught a chill eventhough it was 95 outside unless someone hip gets to this soon we will never be new we will never be new We just deconstruct what we wanted just for it to look like it does for the second time We were made for the movies we were made for the big screen we were made for the movies we were made for the movies we were made to be real we were made to disappear and come back new I don't know I don't know
8.
Opposition 01:27
9.
To me it looks like your jeans are on backwards kid you are trying to stay on top of the skateboard as you skate through the mall parking lot We are trying to figure which way to go Oh this is a new kind of place this is a new kind of habitat oh thank you to myself this is not something I have ever been good at Later in the parking lot I asked your mother what this was all about And if you are not terrified you should be now I thought I had a fake disease I thought I had a name I thought I had a behavior Something you couldn't find something you couldn't tell They asked me to come alone and you seem to understand oh if you are not terrified now it is time it is time
10.
You take these kind of things on the chin there is a darkness at the bottom of the sea there is a darkness so deep right here I swam I swam toward nowhere after so much isolation there was indifference but i kept going even if it meant staying in place Oh I kept going and i waited i found myself without meaning in time I had company in time they were all around me I see the light and you do too I'm depending on the light and you are too I did what I had to do and you did too I wanted to feel this way and you wanted to feel this way too You could say it is beautiful but you would be lying and you know that it is hideous just like this place you had to be on your own to illuminate that I kept going and then I waited you kept going and then you waited too I saw the light and you, you see it too I am dependent on this light and you are dependent on it too you are dependent on it too And now I feel this way and I know you feel this way too I know you feel this way too We are approaching the bottom of the sea
11.
Sahara Motel 03:52
Oh you are taking your time you are taking your time with an overnight stay at the Sahara Motel All these lights line the roadway in different colors all these lights they seep through the hotel blinds and into your eyes You let it wash all over you like it was ten years ago just like it was ten years ago And there you are walking a shopping cart up South Beach Blvd. past the Taco Bell and the Del Taco you just lost your job at that doughnut shop down in Newport Beach life it gets this way sometimes life it gets this way sometimes The morning fog it burns off and you can stay in this room only until 11 and then you will have to pay for another whole night and you don't want to do that you don't want to do that You are just trying your luck with the broken air conditioner and the ice machine down the hall A car pulls into the parking lot someone you haven't seen for like ten years yeah someone who hasn't seen you for ten years either Oh and now the sun is working it's way up up in the midday sky It is almost time to go yeah it is almost time to go Oh everything Everything has changed for the better there is not much left there is not much left to remember there is not much left to remember to remember
12.
13.
Danny sees the light at 3 a.m. in the morning out by the railroad tracks on Katella Avenue This apartment building is new so are these palm trees he finds a way to sleep under the highway overpass one more night Oh come back dreams are what you make them even if they don't exist here in this place anymore 30 years ago Danny had a farm out by Knotts Berry Farm he was raising goats oh but that didn't last long dreams are what you make them even if they don't exist here in this place here in this place anymore Danny saw the light again at 4 a.m. in the morning flashlight in his eye and a police officer telling him to go home

about

13 (or 14 if you buy the pre-order) songs about exurban/suburban L.A. and Orange County. This search for degenerate utopia takes us deep into the California dream. Of amusement parks, highway overpasses, fake eyelashes, and airports named after movie stars. Perpetual hotel construction on top of chain restaurants and shopping malls in the middle of shopping mall parking lots.

You are pushing a shopping cart up Ocean Beach Blvd. in the early evening past neon hotel vacancy signs and the blank vacant eyes of someone you knew ten years ago. You see the light but it is just a police officer's flashlight in your eyes at 4 a.m. in the morning as you try to sleep under the high way overpass. We were sold damaged goods that we can no longer afford. It is the California dream, man.

Recorded: June 2019 - August 2021 - San Francisco, CA

Instruments used: microKorg synthesizer, acoustic guitar, wood flute, free online drum machine, harmonica

credits

released October 1, 2021

“Perhaps Utopia can never be realized without destroying itself.” - David Harvey.

Anaheim, CA
Riding OC Transit from Disneyland then catching another bus at the VA Hospital to see …And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead at Alex’s Bar in Long Beach
Spaces of Hope - David Harvey
Utopic Degeneration: Disneyland - Louis Marin
Time Trials - Flowertown

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Lewis the Light San Francisco, California

"Satisfied with his care and the width of his belly, Lewis escaped and returned to San Francisco, where he was arrested after ripping open his clothing and asking passersbys to witness the divine light that burned in his breast."

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